30 Days to a More Positive Outlook....30 Days are Up!

Tue Jul 15th, 2008

Yeah - you caught me. Life got busy, and then just did not get caught up. But in the past 2 weeks alot has happened:

• I took a new role (same company)
• Started working with an executive coach
• Joined the gym (again...the beach holiday is in 2 months!)
• Been on training courses
• Reached outside of my comfort zone in networking and set up 3 appointments

It was a really hard thing for me to take the new role as there were things I was solving for...that frankly I didn't get. I had to decide if I could take the role and be ok withit. Because if I wasn't, I would not be able to do the role justice, and it would hurt me in the long run.

So, I made the choice and "deferred" aspects that were important to me. I did type "let go" which is right in one sense, but also in another I simply stated that "I learnt my lesson and won't let it happen again". I also learnt about people involved in my network and those that really made the difference and those that I will not trust again.

Positive Outlook? 30 days are now up and I had challenged myself to turn it around. I have to say "yes, I've done it" with a renewed vigor and enthusiasm towards the challenge ahead.

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 16

Mon Jun 30th 2008.

"It’s VERY hard to like Mondays"

Hah! Laughed at the title for today because it’s just true.
I often don’t mind Mondays because you have the whole week to get things done…a fresh slate every week of which to do anything!
Today was Meeting Monday….hence the title above. Running from meeting to meeting trying to switch gears and no time to “do” anything. Just added more action items to the list….can you tell that I have the “achiever” strength!?

At the very end of the day I managed to catch up of a few things to evaluate how I’m coming along in my positive outlook journey. I am halfway after all.
- Days are 50/50 but trending upwards
- Reaching out to more people and talking…a sign I’m getting more positive
- Meetings run more effectively…better aura displayed by me
- Ticking off a few things on the list…got to satisfy that achiever fix!

So overall…moving forward.

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 14/15

"Home is Where the Heart is"

I love and hate weekends.
Love it because – no work, time with husband.
Hate – because I struggle with what to do in the weekend.

Do I stay in bed all day? Do I read the books piling up? Do I do all those chores like washing and shopping?

Every weekend, I wake up and see what I feel. Am I energetic and ready to hit the world and all those action items.
Or do I wake up and want to hide away from it all and just stay where the heart is...wrapped in my husbands arms?

This weekend was #2. I stayed in the house, never left, and just enjoyed what I had. I watched football (congratulations Spain!) and watched Law & Order: SVU (yes, still hooked...prior post all about it!) and cooked (alright, I watched the husband cook).

And I let the rest of the world, the craziness, the decisions needed to be made, the people to be met etc… all pass me by.

And stayed positive because for me…home is where the heart is.

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 13

Fri Jun 27th 2008. Writing retrospectively...but hitting the highlights.

"It’s the people that matter"

The whole day was about waiting to hear the CEO in his webcast after the prior day announcement. He did a Q&A session with questions from anyone that wanted to submit a question….and there were A LOT. It was the type of questions you’d expect to hear after something like this…but what struck me more was the emotions people had in their questions – even though the questions were typed in and read. You could still sense the sadness, the anger, the disbelief in the questions. It made for a sad day overall.

The names of the people were not announced and it was told that they get to decide how and when to let others know. So of course, everyone is looking around to see others, catch their eye, see if they are not even in the office…

I got my first email from someone “impacted” and it was just the shock again. What do I say…do I try and be positive…do I rant and empathize…over email?!
And I’m not even the one “impacted”…

I also had a couple more 1-1s with the team. Lesson learned: don’t try and have a feedback session in this environment. Not good! One of the discussions was really hard, had to be made, but the hardest thing because I see what they don’t see and can’t make them change. I learnt that lesson the very hard way with a prior employee. All I can do is help them be aware of their actions and the impact it has now and in their future opportunities. I tossed and turned about this for 2 nights…

The theme of the day was about people…business runs and does wonderful things…but it’s all down to the people. And every little action and decision that I make and showcase to others is important. That’s being a leader.

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 12

Thu Jun 26th 2008. Writing retrospectively...but hitting the highlights.

"Appreciate what you have"

After the happy ending to yesterday, I was looking forward to today. I had a session with a team that would be fun as well as a party in the afternoon AND a dinner party in the evening. A busy day but playing to my passion of interacting with people in an informal environment.

All changed at 1pm…the company announcement with a 7% layoff of our people. Now, most people knew it was coming, including myself. But it’s different to be theoretical about it then when it’s right there in your face. 600 people that you know and have worked with are no longer employed with the company.

First time I’ve been involved in a layoff where I would actually know the people and see the impact. Have to say I was a little numb for the day. Lots of questions with no real answers.
On top of that, I’m in a manager role which means I had to “put on the brave face” for my team with their questions. Now, THAT was something that was not comfortable.

So at the end of this day…the key takeaway to being more positive is “appreciate what you have”

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 11

Writing retrospectively...but hitting the highlights.

"Discovering my Passion"

Today started as a really bad day. Working on being positive but woke up in a foul mood and just did not know how to shake it. Really hard on myself about it as I'm trying to be more positive (as the name of the 30 day journey states!).

At the end of the day, I was actually in a really good mood and din't realize until afterwards that I sould take a look as to why...so i can repeat what I did!

Looking at my calendar,the day was my 1-1's with my team. It was a chance to have a personal conversation and coach and mentor others. I also took one of my team members out for a drink so that I could get to know him better - something I've been wanting to do for a while.
Because for me, when I know someone personally I work much better with them professionaly. Call it any fancy word type "building trust" "rapport" it just works for me.
And today this is what I did - I got to spend time knwoing my team - which helped me feel more energized that I have a purpose! And when I have energy and passion...I perform at my best.

Discover my passion --> Interaction with people on personal and professional level

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 10

No quote today - just a chat.
Today started off more positive...but has ended up not good at all and feeling like I've taken a step back.
I had a great talk with a leader about his approach to career development as he has a plan that he uses which has 2 year "re-ups" and a 10 year goal. It includes his strengths, his functional and leadership skills to go after...and just is clear on his outcomes.

I loved seeing the information and it resonated that I need that structure. But I also felt myself being "blame" and "defensive" in the meeting. I didn't show it (I Hope) - so a good note for me today (yeah!) but I did still feel the resentment and expectation that I should get everything I want....with perhaps a step back seeing I haven't done enough to get it all just yet.

One thing I loved and want to state was a comment that "each role is a stretch" in that he doesn't have many of the skills or knowledge to do the role and is there to learn them. I loved this and agree, but in my current outlook I keep seeing the blocks to "getting someone to give me that job" and of course that doesn't happen.
I asked how he got those jobs and it was "tenacity" and keep knocking at the door.

A little positives for the day
- Ate lunch with a group of folks (not gen-y)
- Met someone new and played ping-pong, yes a little fun to bring me back to normal
- Talked with my office neighbours (a little sad that I don't do this more often)

So Good Job to me!

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 9

Day 9 Quote - Commit to What You Are Doing
If you do not make a total commitment to whatever you are doing, then you start looking to bail out the first time the boat starts leaking. It is tough enough getting that boat to shore with everybody rowing, let alone when a guy stands up and starts putting his life jacket on.

Day 9 Review
I recently committed to not eat lunch with the younger employees. I wanted to move forward and have been using this group as a safety zone for too long and have seen that I just don't fit in. It's hard and often I have lunch on my own, but today was an example of why it is better to commit.
I talked with 2 peers who mentioned an article in CFO magazine about female CFOs and their secrets to success. I went to my desk and read the article and it was AMAZING!
Exactly what I have been looking for with some questions - what are the next steps to take, what are the areas to grow in and also avoid...
Article: http://www.cfo.com/article.cfm/11475748/1/c_2984789?f=magazine_coverstory

I printed off the article and highlighted sections and key words. The biggest area was "don't apologize for who or what you are". I NEVER would have thought i had this problem, except in the past 2 years, this is exactly what has happened to me.
But seeing this in print - you need and want a confident person at the executive level. And that is what I'm going to be.

So, I COMMIT to being more confident! Right now...

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 7/8

Day 7/8 Quote - Spread Your Wings

When life pokes and prods you, it is not punishment or abuse. You are being pushed out of the nest. Spread your wings and take flight. See how well you can fly.

Day 7/8 Review

The weekend has arrived. Yeah! This weekend was definitely about emotion. Living the emotion, feeling it, and letting go of it! I guess it was time to get out of the nest and fly into the new adventure.

The weekend was better than it has been fr a while as there was freedom in letting go...and focusing on the future with all the possibilities and excitement that it may hold.

I went geocaching again, watched the Euro 2008 football matches (awesome matches!), ate and drank, and just relaxed. Wonderful!

You know what...I usually think about work and end up doing a little bit but this time I didn't. I'm letting go of the old so that i can welcome in the new ...or in the quote terms "ready to fly the nest!"

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 6

Day 6 Quote - The Journey Matters
It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end.

Day 6 Review

Been wrestling with my mind for peace, happiness, answers to the next step. This whole week has been "the angry week" and have shut myself away from people - for I know how I come across and don't want my brand to be tarnished this way.

I realize that I go through this occasionally and need to recognize it as a journey. The phases as I see them are....

Step 1 - Unease about current state

Step 2 - Anger and resentment

Step 3 - Indifference and letting go

Step 4 - Forming the new passion and goal

I've been in the "anger and resentment" stage longer than I'd like. I wrote a few pages of horrible stuff on paper to help me towards Step 3 of letting go. Definitely not stuff you want to read here, but imagine lots of blame (on everyone and myself) and anger.

I made another step forward in that I cleaned up the folders in my office. I went through them and said "do I need these" "will they take me forward or do they keep me from letting go and moving forward". I ran out of time with the amount I threw out/filed/scanned in....

The journey continues....but I see light coming through...

Daily Quote Source: http://lucymacdonald.typepad.com/

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 5

Day 5 - Courage


It takes as much courage to have tried and failed as it does to have tried and succeeded




Day 5 Review
I read this and for my journey it means - take a risk today. So I attended a new type of networking opportunity. Drove all the way to the city, paid the "how much!?!" parking fee and had a great time.
It was basically an investment pitch from a fund manager....but it amazed for for 2 reasons:
1. I want to be rich enough to invest in funds like these (min invest $100k)
2. I don't want to be in investments as a career

They were both big moments for me because I've been feeling "comfortable" lately in my lifestyle. I earn well and have a good life - should I really push for more....YES! I got a bit of that fire in my belly to push forward.
The second factor was I always felt enticed by the investments industry - Wall street, money makers - and considered it as a career out of school. I appreciated what the manager does, but at the same time it was a big "sales" job and the numbers didn't speak for themselves because he twisted them and talked about them so much. And I saw that this was what the biz was about and my passion is not there anymore.

Courage...yep
I have tried and moved forward...and hence because I tried, I succeeded!

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 4

Day 4 - Small Opportunities

Jumping at several small opportunities may get us there more quickly than waiting for one big one to come along.

Day 4 Review

oohh, this is an ominous one indeed. I'm currently reflecting and assessing my next step and I asked myself this question. Do I take the position now that meets most of the criteria or do I wait for the total package that could materialize at some point in the future...

As I stated on Day 1, things can take a while sometimes when the brain doesn't want to let go, but at some point when you hit that brick wall, and read a quote like this, it makes more sense. I also had a great chat from an unsuspecting coach..showed me reaching out does make work, just have to find the right person.

Thank you quote number 4 - I think I will be more positive when I'm clear on that next step and take it!

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 3

Day 2 Quote - Focus on Now

Forget mistakes. Forget failure. Forget everything except what you are going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day.

Day 2 Review

Definitely sounded cheesy when I ready this, especially the "today is your lucky day". But then again, I'm here to try something different to become more positive....so let's go with it.

I ended up spending most of the day locked away int he office catching up on all those pesky to-do items that rack up. Send email A, order item B, set up meeting C ...you get the picture. If I read the quote, I think I feel quite happy as I forgot the failure of not getting to these items earlier and instead "just did it" and got them done. Plus I like to tick things off a list and I got ALOT of items ticked off today. Yeah!

I also reviewed my action items from a month ago as part of the clear up and set up for the next month and was happy that I set my self personal goals - like writing this blog, networking outside of my comfort zone more, which I definitely have been.

So overall, a tiring day but also a great day...perhaps I'm lucky after all...

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 2

Quotes Source
Found another blog that has a Quote a Day for Positive Outlooks, so I will be using this as the source for the day. All credit goes here: http://lucymacdonald.typepad.com/

Day 2 - Be an appreciator
Be an appreciator of the seemingly small things in life; a smile, a kind word, a beautiful flower, a few hours of unstructured time, a laughing child, for it is the small things that become the warp and weft of the fabric of your life.

Day 2 Review
I have to say that the day was a mixed bag. I thought about being positive and appreciative more during the day...and I used the quote for the "little things" and thanked more people for these little things - meetings, breakfast, just being them, keeping me informed on info....so I give myself a pat on the back.
On the flip side, yesterday was a tough day to start as I had several networking meetings about my next role in the company, which is not new, but for some reason this cycle is taking a lot more out of me than before. These meetings made me feel a range of emotions from pride, ego, entitlement, grateful, excited, dejected, failure, hopeless, and angry. Tired just thinking about it! Ended up having dinner with the hubby and let it all out - for that and him I am ever appreciative.

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 1

I'm back after the break from the extravagant birthday celebration. What an experience...and I needed to recover. All credit goes to the hubby for preparing and putting it all together. He's a rock star!

I've been reflecting on how I've been feeling for the past few months...I've been in a funk and have been deflecting these towards turning 30. But it's been and gone, and it's time to face up to myself and realize it something more.

I've had a lot of questions about the next steps in life - what career, family, the next move, defining success etc... you know, just the little questions.

Now usually, I focus and mull over these for a while and then it spurns me into getting answers and hence clarity.

But in this case, that's not happened...and the impact of this has had an impact on my outward reflection. I'm ready to say it, I'm no longer the positive "glass is half full" mentality. I see myself as more cynical, jaded, and angry in conversations and interactions I've had lately.

And I've realized I don't want to become this person...I see it too often around me and it's what I've been trying to not become for so long, that in fact I did become it. Ashamed, but also ready to do something about it.

So practice the master makes and hence your help in my journey....

Setting a 30 Day Positivity journey...everyday I will reflect on being more positive and hence give myself back what I loved about myself the most....the positive outlook on life.