30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 10

No quote today - just a chat.
Today started off more positive...but has ended up not good at all and feeling like I've taken a step back.
I had a great talk with a leader about his approach to career development as he has a plan that he uses which has 2 year "re-ups" and a 10 year goal. It includes his strengths, his functional and leadership skills to go after...and just is clear on his outcomes.

I loved seeing the information and it resonated that I need that structure. But I also felt myself being "blame" and "defensive" in the meeting. I didn't show it (I Hope) - so a good note for me today (yeah!) but I did still feel the resentment and expectation that I should get everything I want....with perhaps a step back seeing I haven't done enough to get it all just yet.

One thing I loved and want to state was a comment that "each role is a stretch" in that he doesn't have many of the skills or knowledge to do the role and is there to learn them. I loved this and agree, but in my current outlook I keep seeing the blocks to "getting someone to give me that job" and of course that doesn't happen.
I asked how he got those jobs and it was "tenacity" and keep knocking at the door.

A little positives for the day
- Ate lunch with a group of folks (not gen-y)
- Met someone new and played ping-pong, yes a little fun to bring me back to normal
- Talked with my office neighbours (a little sad that I don't do this more often)

So Good Job to me!

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 9

Day 9 Quote - Commit to What You Are Doing
If you do not make a total commitment to whatever you are doing, then you start looking to bail out the first time the boat starts leaking. It is tough enough getting that boat to shore with everybody rowing, let alone when a guy stands up and starts putting his life jacket on.

Day 9 Review
I recently committed to not eat lunch with the younger employees. I wanted to move forward and have been using this group as a safety zone for too long and have seen that I just don't fit in. It's hard and often I have lunch on my own, but today was an example of why it is better to commit.
I talked with 2 peers who mentioned an article in CFO magazine about female CFOs and their secrets to success. I went to my desk and read the article and it was AMAZING!
Exactly what I have been looking for with some questions - what are the next steps to take, what are the areas to grow in and also avoid...
Article: http://www.cfo.com/article.cfm/11475748/1/c_2984789?f=magazine_coverstory

I printed off the article and highlighted sections and key words. The biggest area was "don't apologize for who or what you are". I NEVER would have thought i had this problem, except in the past 2 years, this is exactly what has happened to me.
But seeing this in print - you need and want a confident person at the executive level. And that is what I'm going to be.

So, I COMMIT to being more confident! Right now...

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 7/8

Day 7/8 Quote - Spread Your Wings

When life pokes and prods you, it is not punishment or abuse. You are being pushed out of the nest. Spread your wings and take flight. See how well you can fly.

Day 7/8 Review

The weekend has arrived. Yeah! This weekend was definitely about emotion. Living the emotion, feeling it, and letting go of it! I guess it was time to get out of the nest and fly into the new adventure.

The weekend was better than it has been fr a while as there was freedom in letting go...and focusing on the future with all the possibilities and excitement that it may hold.

I went geocaching again, watched the Euro 2008 football matches (awesome matches!), ate and drank, and just relaxed. Wonderful!

You know what...I usually think about work and end up doing a little bit but this time I didn't. I'm letting go of the old so that i can welcome in the new ...or in the quote terms "ready to fly the nest!"

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 6

Day 6 Quote - The Journey Matters
It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end.

Day 6 Review

Been wrestling with my mind for peace, happiness, answers to the next step. This whole week has been "the angry week" and have shut myself away from people - for I know how I come across and don't want my brand to be tarnished this way.

I realize that I go through this occasionally and need to recognize it as a journey. The phases as I see them are....

Step 1 - Unease about current state

Step 2 - Anger and resentment

Step 3 - Indifference and letting go

Step 4 - Forming the new passion and goal

I've been in the "anger and resentment" stage longer than I'd like. I wrote a few pages of horrible stuff on paper to help me towards Step 3 of letting go. Definitely not stuff you want to read here, but imagine lots of blame (on everyone and myself) and anger.

I made another step forward in that I cleaned up the folders in my office. I went through them and said "do I need these" "will they take me forward or do they keep me from letting go and moving forward". I ran out of time with the amount I threw out/filed/scanned in....

The journey continues....but I see light coming through...

Daily Quote Source: http://lucymacdonald.typepad.com/

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 5

Day 5 - Courage


It takes as much courage to have tried and failed as it does to have tried and succeeded




Day 5 Review
I read this and for my journey it means - take a risk today. So I attended a new type of networking opportunity. Drove all the way to the city, paid the "how much!?!" parking fee and had a great time.
It was basically an investment pitch from a fund manager....but it amazed for for 2 reasons:
1. I want to be rich enough to invest in funds like these (min invest $100k)
2. I don't want to be in investments as a career

They were both big moments for me because I've been feeling "comfortable" lately in my lifestyle. I earn well and have a good life - should I really push for more....YES! I got a bit of that fire in my belly to push forward.
The second factor was I always felt enticed by the investments industry - Wall street, money makers - and considered it as a career out of school. I appreciated what the manager does, but at the same time it was a big "sales" job and the numbers didn't speak for themselves because he twisted them and talked about them so much. And I saw that this was what the biz was about and my passion is not there anymore.

Courage...yep
I have tried and moved forward...and hence because I tried, I succeeded!

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 4

Day 4 - Small Opportunities

Jumping at several small opportunities may get us there more quickly than waiting for one big one to come along.

Day 4 Review

oohh, this is an ominous one indeed. I'm currently reflecting and assessing my next step and I asked myself this question. Do I take the position now that meets most of the criteria or do I wait for the total package that could materialize at some point in the future...

As I stated on Day 1, things can take a while sometimes when the brain doesn't want to let go, but at some point when you hit that brick wall, and read a quote like this, it makes more sense. I also had a great chat from an unsuspecting coach..showed me reaching out does make work, just have to find the right person.

Thank you quote number 4 - I think I will be more positive when I'm clear on that next step and take it!

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 3

Day 2 Quote - Focus on Now

Forget mistakes. Forget failure. Forget everything except what you are going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day.

Day 2 Review

Definitely sounded cheesy when I ready this, especially the "today is your lucky day". But then again, I'm here to try something different to become more positive....so let's go with it.

I ended up spending most of the day locked away int he office catching up on all those pesky to-do items that rack up. Send email A, order item B, set up meeting C ...you get the picture. If I read the quote, I think I feel quite happy as I forgot the failure of not getting to these items earlier and instead "just did it" and got them done. Plus I like to tick things off a list and I got ALOT of items ticked off today. Yeah!

I also reviewed my action items from a month ago as part of the clear up and set up for the next month and was happy that I set my self personal goals - like writing this blog, networking outside of my comfort zone more, which I definitely have been.

So overall, a tiring day but also a great day...perhaps I'm lucky after all...

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 2

Quotes Source
Found another blog that has a Quote a Day for Positive Outlooks, so I will be using this as the source for the day. All credit goes here: http://lucymacdonald.typepad.com/

Day 2 - Be an appreciator
Be an appreciator of the seemingly small things in life; a smile, a kind word, a beautiful flower, a few hours of unstructured time, a laughing child, for it is the small things that become the warp and weft of the fabric of your life.

Day 2 Review
I have to say that the day was a mixed bag. I thought about being positive and appreciative more during the day...and I used the quote for the "little things" and thanked more people for these little things - meetings, breakfast, just being them, keeping me informed on info....so I give myself a pat on the back.
On the flip side, yesterday was a tough day to start as I had several networking meetings about my next role in the company, which is not new, but for some reason this cycle is taking a lot more out of me than before. These meetings made me feel a range of emotions from pride, ego, entitlement, grateful, excited, dejected, failure, hopeless, and angry. Tired just thinking about it! Ended up having dinner with the hubby and let it all out - for that and him I am ever appreciative.

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 1

I'm back after the break from the extravagant birthday celebration. What an experience...and I needed to recover. All credit goes to the hubby for preparing and putting it all together. He's a rock star!

I've been reflecting on how I've been feeling for the past few months...I've been in a funk and have been deflecting these towards turning 30. But it's been and gone, and it's time to face up to myself and realize it something more.

I've had a lot of questions about the next steps in life - what career, family, the next move, defining success etc... you know, just the little questions.

Now usually, I focus and mull over these for a while and then it spurns me into getting answers and hence clarity.

But in this case, that's not happened...and the impact of this has had an impact on my outward reflection. I'm ready to say it, I'm no longer the positive "glass is half full" mentality. I see myself as more cynical, jaded, and angry in conversations and interactions I've had lately.

And I've realized I don't want to become this person...I see it too often around me and it's what I've been trying to not become for so long, that in fact I did become it. Ashamed, but also ready to do something about it.

So practice the master makes and hence your help in my journey....

Setting a 30 Day Positivity journey...everyday I will reflect on being more positive and hence give myself back what I loved about myself the most....the positive outlook on life.

After the celebrations....recovery

After the Birthday celebrations...I'm taking a break and recovering!

30 Days to Turning 30...It's here! I'm 30!

Waking up felt different...I was older...but I love my birthday as my husband is an expert at making me feel special. I let him know that I wanted it to be memorable....and it really was.

The actual day I was working...yes as you get older this happens. But I got a lot of emails, and hallway happy birthday wishes. My team also surprised me and got me a card, a present, AND a cake! They are great and it made me smile! Only 1 of them is over 30 and that's the boss, so they still liked to tease me a bit about the new decade I've entered...

My husband surprised me with an envelope "#1 of 3" and the adventure began....we went to Las Vegas for a few days (hence the catch up on the blog) and it was not to gamble but instead for a gastronomic adventure overload!

We stayed in a penthouse suite (loved it!) and then ate at 3 tiers of restaurants...

1. Emerils' Fish House - classic tv chef, all show and no food to back it up

2. Tom Colicchio's Craftsteak - the home of a $240 Kobe steak - Wow! I can't eat a normal steak again...

3. Joel Robuchon - 3 Michelin star adventure - 16 courses of food that tells a story that you will never forget - as well as the price tag you will never forget - but so worth it for an experience in a lifetime.

We also packed in a great time relaxing, sitting by the pool, drinking, talking, shopping, and gambling....which amounted altogether as the best adventure to turning 30 ever!

Maybe Turning 30 won't be so bad after all....

30 Days to Turning 30...1 Day to Go

It's now at the nail biting edge of the Big Birthday!

I'm terrible about waiting for special events like birthdays and Christmas and so i managed to convince the hubby to let me open a present early...those from friends in different countries where in that time zone it was already my birthday. Cheeky, I know, but fun to spread the adventure out over time. It was fun to open card s and presents and usually the thrill is more in the anticipation that the actual gift...

Anyways, then spent the rest of the day at work where I was in a Time Management course from 8-5...a full day! Was a great course, but required my full focus and by the end of the day I am just exhausted, so went to bed at 7pm...looking forward to the Big Birthday tomorrow!

Turning 30 tomorrow...but getting older means I need more time for beauty sleep!

30 Days to Turning 30...2 Days to Go

It's getting close with only 2 days to go...I had a BBQ this evening and had 15 people round! Wow, this is the most people I've ever hosted for at my house. It was both exhilarating and exhausting. It was a weekday night as well....way to push the boat out at Age 30!

My husband is an awesome cook, so he led the charge and I was the prep-queen to make sure everything got ready....and it turned out great. We had a lot of hungry people that came back for many sittings...which is a great sign.

For me, it was a new experience to put myself out there and be vulnerable in the hosting arena. It's not something I do very often (less than 5 times in past 15 years) so it was a big thing...but that's the point of turning 30 - take a risk!

It was also exiting as it kind of felt like a birthday party, which I never really had growing up, so new experiences all round to turning 30.

In case you are interested in the fabulous food that was served up....

• BBQ ribs (husband's own secret recipe....like grandma but better!)
• Coleslaw from Mustard's Grill Recipe (hands down THE best coleslaw)
• Shrimp Tacos with Red Cabbage and Chipotle Mayo (Bobby Flay's recipe)
• Jalapeno Cornbread topped with plenty of honey and butter
• Salad, California style

Off to bed now though as exhausted!

30 Days to Turning 30...3 days to go

Yeah...it's a bit of a catch-up to get the last few days in the blog....but life has been a crazy adventure the past week!

With the final few days to the Big Birthday, I was leading a training week for my team, which means I was out-of-pocket for anything else all week physically and emotionally.

One part of the week I was excited about was Emotional Intelligence. I was exposed to the concept at work a few years ago and was also reading a book by Daniel Goleman (The renowned EQ expert) and wanted to teach the new generation at work about the importance of this aspect in balance with the more conventional IQ.

Quite interesting the facts that are proposed...that success is based on 3 areas of excellence:

1. Intelligence (IQ) - the theory of how something is done

2. Expertise - building up experience and the practical actions of decisions

3. Emotional Intelligence (EQ) or "Soft Skills" - how you actually act on your thoughts and decisions and the interaction with others

A range of studies have been done to determine what is most important to "success" in life and interestingly only a small amount (~4-25% from various studies) is based on IQ. The majority (~67% for professional workers) is from EQ. Quite interesting...

Reading through the various dimensions and classifications of EQ reads like a list of common sense aspects. but reading the stories shows that we all might not be a great at these things as we think...and that age is a factor as you "mature"

So getting older is better...I might become a little more emotionally intelligent..sweet!

30 Days to Turning 30...4 to go

I thought the weekend would be uneventful and full of the list of bits 'n' bobs around the house....but it ended up being an adventure...of the unwelcome kind.

I had a set of allergies come up a few years ago to a lot of stuff...basically fruit and nuts. But over the past year, this seems to have died down and I've introduced foods over time and in small pieces so that not really allergic to it anymore.

Well I decided to have a nice desert of blackberries with sugar on the weekend and within minutes of finishing it, my throat tightened up. I didn't think about it until it got worse....and it was hard to swallow. At this point I went into action mode...get the anti-histamines, drink several glasses of water, and stand-by with the epi-pen. Poor husband was sitting and watching me like a hawk to see what to do.

After 1-2 hours of panic and drinking lots of water, my throat started to loosen just a tad and I fell asleep from the pills....again husband watched me like a hawk.

Woke up a few times (to pee from all that water!) but got through it. The next day was a write-off due to the grogginess from the day before....body had fought too hard the day before and I ended up fighting to just walk around.

But in the adventures of turning 30...sometimes it's just a reminder to be thankful that I will be turning 30!