Middle Management is the Enemy of Innovation!

I went to a user-contribution talk today and got to hear from employees at Best Buy and the co-founder of Electronic Arts, Bing Gordan.

Here are my take-aways:

"Middle Management is the enemy of Innovation"

Middle Managers have spent years trying to break into the ranks, so when they get there, and are told to "give it away" for others to create in a user-contribution system - they naturally feel defensive and protective. "That's my job"

"User-Contribution Systems are the Murder of Management"

Traditional management are used to playing the role of being in the limelight, sharing their ideas, or controlling the ideas that are shared.

But now they are faced with ideas that come from everywhere, especially in the field, where they are often better, viewed as more authentic, and have the power to build the community around the idea.

Hope is not all lost - What can Managers do differently?
Curiosity - use this skill now as a main focus.
You should have a Nintendo Player as a member of the board - else you are missing the future in your decisions
Performance Ratings should be Innovation & Talent focused - many years senior leaders are measured by the quality of the people that they attract and grow. Add an additional factor of innovation - do they encourage and seek out new ideas and help them be successful?
Expect Problems, Fear, and Mistrust - as a manager you can really help these factors killing the idea. Best Buy Nation broke the mistrust of "another corporate tool" by taking the employees out bowling, then posting the photos and experience online on BBN.

"Throw the person with the $1M idea out of the room!"

We have a $1m idea and got to a council and seek approval. We spend a year to plan, get resources, build it, test it, and get it launched.

Withe user-contribution systems, being small and light with rapid iteration is better.

So tell that person with the $1M idea to get out the room....and come back with 100 x $1,000 ideas!

User-Contribution Success Factors

n=1 It only works when you build relationships, and you build then 1 on 1. Sending a "what do you think" to all the users without any relationships is not good - like walking into a cocktail party and expecting everyone to come to you to talk!

Beg forgiveness vs. Ask for Permission You can get mired down into the details when you think about all the risks and controls and it soon becomes a barrier. So launch a light basic version and iterate.

$100 goes a long way The Best Buy team got a web site and hosting for $100 and built a site on their own in a few weeks. IT told them it would take $50k just to talk with them and scope it out over 6 months with a further $M investment....2 years later they are still on the light version with 20,000 users!

Truth is the last word Don't try and manipulate what people say or how they say it. Truth will come out and have the last word.

60% Internet is User-Generated Content This was predicted in 1995 in Wired magazine as the "future of the Internet" and 13 years later we see it come true.

Examples Mentioned BlueShirtNation, Kiva, Best Buy Remix Network, EA "The Sims" game, Sims 3000, Sims Skin maker

BIG Change is Hard...Bite Size Decisions Is Easy

In the past 24 hours I have had to be part of 2 significant changes, with both playing an emotional factor on me.

(1) Move to San Diego?
Mr Bearded Lady got a great job offer, but it's in San Diego. Do we take it or not? What do we do about the house? My job? Our lives?
So instead of all these big scary "what ifs" that we have been thinking in our head - we had dinner and broke it down into bite-size decisions.
Example: Our Home. Is it "the" house for life? Do we keep as investment? Do we sell? Could we sell?
Decisions: Not our dream home, start to detach from "home" and make decisions, actions to investigate possible sale with criteria on selling price. If over X then sell, if under X then rent for 6 months and revisit.
...cont...

Breaking it down and making the bite-size decisions got rid of the big scary "what ifs" and lifted a weight off of both shoulders.

(2) Organizational Decisions
Leading some big hairy scary change in a large organization. We know what we have now is ok, but inadequate for the future. So we gotta change...and to something VERY different.
That is super scary....but mostly because we need to stop looking at it from the BIG change and break it into the decisions.
- Outsource or not? Geography of people? How fast do we want to get there? ...

Today was the moment of truth that we are going to take our top leaders through this - "s**t or get off the pot" as one stated - and then make it less scary by breaking into bite-size chunks.
It feels different to the personal decision as so many more people involved and impacted by the decisions...today I just feel very sad and a little sick to the stomach.

To MBA or Not MBA?

that is the questions, right?
thinking about doing an MBA to align me into the long term goals for my career....
executive recruiters state that for C-level roles there is a boas to have an MBA.
so i'm thinking full-time at a top 10 school.

now i have 7 weeks to apply, write all those winning essays, get glowing recommendations, visit the schools, and pass that darn GMAT!

get ready for the ride!

Friday Feeling

Gosh, I sure am exhausted today as had 2 big emotional events - and neither the happy kind.

#1 Revelations with my personal coach
#2 Surviving the 4 hour aimless meeting

#1 Revelations with my personal coach
Been working on those factors that lie "under the hood" that cause me to act the way I do in some situations. Every had a major emotional responses to an individual - knowing its not rational how you feel - but not being able to act differently.
Its usually because there is an underlying reason....

So today I worked to find the underlying reason of my response to my boss - a female that is a command and control type manager that does not listen to feedback. I've been feeling REALLY bad feelings - anger, apathy, stress - that has built up over time from the fact that no feedback is listened to with my suggestions. And I no longer feel rational...I avoid her and work, I play games to get through meetings, and am so unproductive at work.

There are many things that make her a bad manager let alone a leader - but the response I'm having is not rational in proportion....and I explored the underlying reasons and found a pattern
I have with women authority figures....they typically try to be a mother figure. And because I lost my mother at age 2, there is a void that will not be filled, with a violent reaction to anything that trys to fill it. I left feeling completely RAW.

#2 Surviving the 4 hour aimless meeting
I wrote about this earlier this week, so again nothing new. Just a longer meeting at 4 hours with no agenda set. I asked at the start of the meeting and was told "we'll get there" and then it went on and on. I asked the same question again 4 more times with the same answer.
Sounds crazy, right? Like I should just walk out and not attend?
But its a meeting led by my boss - so not really having any control here...
I was not the only one lost, but there was someone that was on board with the boss so she continued on with that aimless thought that it was all ok.
And guess what, 3.5 hours later (some miracles exist for this), we walked out with nothing...surprise!

I decided to send an email with tips to make future meetings successful about agendas, goals, timekeeping, and action items. Nothing personal, just tips for an effective meeting.
And that sure got a response - a 1 page long email at 8pm on a friday night about the meeting...blah blah...expectations...blah blah...responsibility...!

I still give it a 50/50 shot that we'll get an agenda for the next meeting...

Crazy Travel

Everyone has one of those "nightmare travel" stories. I got mine last week and thought I'd share...

I was scheduled to go to a conference on the East Coast (from west coat). I turned up at the airport a few hours before my flight to check in and was told "you've missed your flight...by a whole day!" Turns out when I booked it, I selected the wrong day on the calendar...yes, a very stupid mistake on my part and all because I was trying to save $25. A bad lesson to learn!

The airline would not refund, exchange, or help in anyway.

Bought a new flight, which was then delayed 2 hours!

Got to the airport car rental on East Coast and got in car. After 20 minutes the GPS unit went on the fritz - it's dark and I did not want to go solo. Drove back and returned car.

Car Rental place ordered a taxi, which was a dodgy unit that tried to overcharge me 3x amount.

Alone, tired, at night, in strange location....got it down to 2x price.

Then the darn taxi breaks down in the middle of nowhere. The tow truck gives me another taxi number...I roll my bag off the freeway in the wait for a taxi - get a couple of cars proposition me.

I'm staying on the phone to hubbie praying for the taxi to arrive super pronto!

It then arrives with 2 guys in the front that smell like weed and they then overcharge me too.

At this point, it's been over 3 hours and I'm going to start going a little crazy with "what else can go wrong syndrome!"

They get lost and take 45 minutes to go 5 miles to the hotel.

I roll in just after midnight and beg for some food from room service to be told "it just shut!"

They night porter took pity and found me a goodie bag from a couple that got married there 3 weeks before - so thanks Josh and Helen for the cookies!

They say that Bad Luck comes in 3's ...I think I got it all in 1 day!

It's been a LONG Time...I'm Venting!

hmm. It's been a long time since I wrote and I definitely feel it.

What inspired me to write today....nothing more inspirational then "I need to vent"

Some people have a friend, some play tennis, I like this blog as a way to record what I thought - so when I get past it I recognize that things get better (or worse, or just change!!)

What's the vent for?

I just came out of a mindless meeting...with more of them booked for the rest of the week.

I have the wonderful pleasure of a 4 hour meeting on Friday for pretty much the same topic as today's 2 hour meeting following last weeks 2 hour meeting.

What does this suggest? It's a huge important topic? That we can't agree? That our input is hugely valuable and needs to be gathered?

Perhaps all of the above...but in general it feels to me like I'm just there to agree with the leader and say "great job" and make them feel more secure in their decisions. Because any comment or change I suggest is met with "hmmm" or "ahhh" but no change.

It just gets kind of frustrating after a few of the same meetings....

The Double Life...of 2 Jobs

It's been 3 weeks (I think...?!) of having 2 jobs and running the gauntlet between the two. A real test of running your priorities and "what NOT to do". Very hard for an overachiever that tries to go above and beyond in everything they do.

In these times of stress, I've really been trying to focus on what emotional energy I have and when. What makes me happy and energized....and what makes me pull my hair out and frustrated!?

Happy Camper
- informal social events with colleagues (parties, hallway talks, lunches...)
- having coaching and development conversations with my staff
- having people reach out to me for advice
- a great executive meeting where people are engaged and approve my recommendations
- learning new stuff (products, gadgets...)
- time with my hubby without the rest of the world involved
- right now, listening to music, thinking about possibilities, and only 1 meeting on the calendar today!

Grumpy Bear
- back to back meetings 3 days in a row...you just can't breathe let alone think!
- the executive focus on EVERY word you choose to put on a piece of paper
- powerpoint paralysis
- cube life...there is really no privacy here...I practically live in a conference room for the calls I make
- new boss...good person, but having to work that new relationship, adjust style, and expectations is an energy drainer
- management layers...having to work through 3 layers to do little things (understand the big things)

So there it it - the life of 2 jobs!

I did have a great reflection time over the weekend with hubby as we took a few days off. It was a chance to talk about what was important to us now and in the future and dreams / ideas to make it happen. There are some things that I am excited about ....nice to dream and I'll work to make some of those dreams a reality (a 3rd job!? Must be crazy!). I'll announce more over time...but I did write the goals down in a paper journal as a commitment!

Worklife: Promoted to a cube

Monday rolls around again and I'm in a new location. I got promoted from my office to a cube! So I spent a day last week cleaning out the office, was quite cleansing as actually ended up throwing most of it away. Also decided not to bring any of my "personal" stuff to work. No pictures or gadgets or fun things....do have about 3 boxes of this stuff in my garage though!

I definitely feel in a weird place...between 2 jobs...between 2 people...between 2 eras in my life. Flip between the two whilst trying to balance it all out. Really hard.
I think I shall leave it at that....and eat a choc chip cookie.

Change is Happening all around me...but within me?

A very bad start to the week. Well, seeing as I actually worked all day on Sunday, this is really Day 2 of the week.

Balancing 2 jobs at the minute...searching for a replacement, documenting the various processes, and trying to get closure on aspects as I go through them.

And then trying to meet the early expectations for the new role....just change management for a whole organization with a communications plan, current state assessment and vision built in 3 months...what did I sign up for?

So today was a horrible day because I had to deal with 2 types of people that I just have not yet mastered partnering with yet (notice the positive "yet" phrase!)

1. Senior Leader "I'm always right and you are wrong" - do I stand up to them which ends up being confrontational, or do I nod my head and say "yes sir" and then work the best angle possible behind the scene?

2. Peer "Things are fine the way they are" - I'm definitely of the mindset to continually improve process as well as the phrase "if you aren't moving forward, you're moving backward, as the world passes you by". But not all are on this page and the hardest person to influence is the type that just likes the way things are. If they are not dissatisfied, then we'll never get anywhere.

So having to deal with the 2 types in 1 day was just not good. I also found out about another re-org over coffee, which just causes more unsettlement in me and others. Why? Who? What does this mean for me? type questions....

So another day passes....can only say "i survived" this one.

The New Job - Part 1

I've had a new role for about 10 days now. My boss had a meeting with me before she left for 2 weeks for vacation and we talked about what has to be done.

It's a new role for me and for the organization...so it's a bit of "let's work it out over time" but the time here is a matter of weeks and no more.

So, I had a meeting with one of my major clients, A "C" level in the executive suite, and oooh - it was definitely the 1st of many transitions I have to make into the mindset of the new role.

1. I got a lot of "feedback" into the preparation for the meeting...a lot of eyes on me in this

2. I should never attend a meeting that was blindly set up without context

3. I need to adjust my mindset and discussion into the "c-level" framework

4. Don't let the parties involved take the topic off-topic and steer them back, even a c-level, back where you want

So went home after what ended up being a crappy day...but it's part of changing into a new role. Can't be easy else you took the wrong job. If you can do it all on Day 1, what's the point? It's all about learning and growing.

What made me happy this week? I networked outside of the company which I said I wanted to do more of. Both were ex-colleagues, but it's a good start. Had lunch at a different corporate campus...oooh forgot that fresh excitement of a polished campus and canteen. Felt good and made me remember what a career can be like with all the "newness" of a company.

Off for the weekend - going canoeing and having dinner with the hubby. Yummy to both!

30 Days to a More Positive Outlook....30 Days are Up!

Tue Jul 15th, 2008

Yeah - you caught me. Life got busy, and then just did not get caught up. But in the past 2 weeks alot has happened:

• I took a new role (same company)
• Started working with an executive coach
• Joined the gym (again...the beach holiday is in 2 months!)
• Been on training courses
• Reached outside of my comfort zone in networking and set up 3 appointments

It was a really hard thing for me to take the new role as there were things I was solving for...that frankly I didn't get. I had to decide if I could take the role and be ok withit. Because if I wasn't, I would not be able to do the role justice, and it would hurt me in the long run.

So, I made the choice and "deferred" aspects that were important to me. I did type "let go" which is right in one sense, but also in another I simply stated that "I learnt my lesson and won't let it happen again". I also learnt about people involved in my network and those that really made the difference and those that I will not trust again.

Positive Outlook? 30 days are now up and I had challenged myself to turn it around. I have to say "yes, I've done it" with a renewed vigor and enthusiasm towards the challenge ahead.

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 16

Mon Jun 30th 2008.

"It’s VERY hard to like Mondays"

Hah! Laughed at the title for today because it’s just true.
I often don’t mind Mondays because you have the whole week to get things done…a fresh slate every week of which to do anything!
Today was Meeting Monday….hence the title above. Running from meeting to meeting trying to switch gears and no time to “do” anything. Just added more action items to the list….can you tell that I have the “achiever” strength!?

At the very end of the day I managed to catch up of a few things to evaluate how I’m coming along in my positive outlook journey. I am halfway after all.
- Days are 50/50 but trending upwards
- Reaching out to more people and talking…a sign I’m getting more positive
- Meetings run more effectively…better aura displayed by me
- Ticking off a few things on the list…got to satisfy that achiever fix!

So overall…moving forward.

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 14/15

"Home is Where the Heart is"

I love and hate weekends.
Love it because – no work, time with husband.
Hate – because I struggle with what to do in the weekend.

Do I stay in bed all day? Do I read the books piling up? Do I do all those chores like washing and shopping?

Every weekend, I wake up and see what I feel. Am I energetic and ready to hit the world and all those action items.
Or do I wake up and want to hide away from it all and just stay where the heart is...wrapped in my husbands arms?

This weekend was #2. I stayed in the house, never left, and just enjoyed what I had. I watched football (congratulations Spain!) and watched Law & Order: SVU (yes, still hooked...prior post all about it!) and cooked (alright, I watched the husband cook).

And I let the rest of the world, the craziness, the decisions needed to be made, the people to be met etc… all pass me by.

And stayed positive because for me…home is where the heart is.

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 13

Fri Jun 27th 2008. Writing retrospectively...but hitting the highlights.

"It’s the people that matter"

The whole day was about waiting to hear the CEO in his webcast after the prior day announcement. He did a Q&A session with questions from anyone that wanted to submit a question….and there were A LOT. It was the type of questions you’d expect to hear after something like this…but what struck me more was the emotions people had in their questions – even though the questions were typed in and read. You could still sense the sadness, the anger, the disbelief in the questions. It made for a sad day overall.

The names of the people were not announced and it was told that they get to decide how and when to let others know. So of course, everyone is looking around to see others, catch their eye, see if they are not even in the office…

I got my first email from someone “impacted” and it was just the shock again. What do I say…do I try and be positive…do I rant and empathize…over email?!
And I’m not even the one “impacted”…

I also had a couple more 1-1s with the team. Lesson learned: don’t try and have a feedback session in this environment. Not good! One of the discussions was really hard, had to be made, but the hardest thing because I see what they don’t see and can’t make them change. I learnt that lesson the very hard way with a prior employee. All I can do is help them be aware of their actions and the impact it has now and in their future opportunities. I tossed and turned about this for 2 nights…

The theme of the day was about people…business runs and does wonderful things…but it’s all down to the people. And every little action and decision that I make and showcase to others is important. That’s being a leader.

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 12

Thu Jun 26th 2008. Writing retrospectively...but hitting the highlights.

"Appreciate what you have"

After the happy ending to yesterday, I was looking forward to today. I had a session with a team that would be fun as well as a party in the afternoon AND a dinner party in the evening. A busy day but playing to my passion of interacting with people in an informal environment.

All changed at 1pm…the company announcement with a 7% layoff of our people. Now, most people knew it was coming, including myself. But it’s different to be theoretical about it then when it’s right there in your face. 600 people that you know and have worked with are no longer employed with the company.

First time I’ve been involved in a layoff where I would actually know the people and see the impact. Have to say I was a little numb for the day. Lots of questions with no real answers.
On top of that, I’m in a manager role which means I had to “put on the brave face” for my team with their questions. Now, THAT was something that was not comfortable.

So at the end of this day…the key takeaway to being more positive is “appreciate what you have”

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 11

Writing retrospectively...but hitting the highlights.

"Discovering my Passion"

Today started as a really bad day. Working on being positive but woke up in a foul mood and just did not know how to shake it. Really hard on myself about it as I'm trying to be more positive (as the name of the 30 day journey states!).

At the end of the day, I was actually in a really good mood and din't realize until afterwards that I sould take a look as to why...so i can repeat what I did!

Looking at my calendar,the day was my 1-1's with my team. It was a chance to have a personal conversation and coach and mentor others. I also took one of my team members out for a drink so that I could get to know him better - something I've been wanting to do for a while.
Because for me, when I know someone personally I work much better with them professionaly. Call it any fancy word type "building trust" "rapport" it just works for me.
And today this is what I did - I got to spend time knwoing my team - which helped me feel more energized that I have a purpose! And when I have energy and passion...I perform at my best.

Discover my passion --> Interaction with people on personal and professional level

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 10

No quote today - just a chat.
Today started off more positive...but has ended up not good at all and feeling like I've taken a step back.
I had a great talk with a leader about his approach to career development as he has a plan that he uses which has 2 year "re-ups" and a 10 year goal. It includes his strengths, his functional and leadership skills to go after...and just is clear on his outcomes.

I loved seeing the information and it resonated that I need that structure. But I also felt myself being "blame" and "defensive" in the meeting. I didn't show it (I Hope) - so a good note for me today (yeah!) but I did still feel the resentment and expectation that I should get everything I want....with perhaps a step back seeing I haven't done enough to get it all just yet.

One thing I loved and want to state was a comment that "each role is a stretch" in that he doesn't have many of the skills or knowledge to do the role and is there to learn them. I loved this and agree, but in my current outlook I keep seeing the blocks to "getting someone to give me that job" and of course that doesn't happen.
I asked how he got those jobs and it was "tenacity" and keep knocking at the door.

A little positives for the day
- Ate lunch with a group of folks (not gen-y)
- Met someone new and played ping-pong, yes a little fun to bring me back to normal
- Talked with my office neighbours (a little sad that I don't do this more often)

So Good Job to me!

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 9

Day 9 Quote - Commit to What You Are Doing
If you do not make a total commitment to whatever you are doing, then you start looking to bail out the first time the boat starts leaking. It is tough enough getting that boat to shore with everybody rowing, let alone when a guy stands up and starts putting his life jacket on.

Day 9 Review
I recently committed to not eat lunch with the younger employees. I wanted to move forward and have been using this group as a safety zone for too long and have seen that I just don't fit in. It's hard and often I have lunch on my own, but today was an example of why it is better to commit.
I talked with 2 peers who mentioned an article in CFO magazine about female CFOs and their secrets to success. I went to my desk and read the article and it was AMAZING!
Exactly what I have been looking for with some questions - what are the next steps to take, what are the areas to grow in and also avoid...
Article: http://www.cfo.com/article.cfm/11475748/1/c_2984789?f=magazine_coverstory

I printed off the article and highlighted sections and key words. The biggest area was "don't apologize for who or what you are". I NEVER would have thought i had this problem, except in the past 2 years, this is exactly what has happened to me.
But seeing this in print - you need and want a confident person at the executive level. And that is what I'm going to be.

So, I COMMIT to being more confident! Right now...

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 7/8

Day 7/8 Quote - Spread Your Wings

When life pokes and prods you, it is not punishment or abuse. You are being pushed out of the nest. Spread your wings and take flight. See how well you can fly.

Day 7/8 Review

The weekend has arrived. Yeah! This weekend was definitely about emotion. Living the emotion, feeling it, and letting go of it! I guess it was time to get out of the nest and fly into the new adventure.

The weekend was better than it has been fr a while as there was freedom in letting go...and focusing on the future with all the possibilities and excitement that it may hold.

I went geocaching again, watched the Euro 2008 football matches (awesome matches!), ate and drank, and just relaxed. Wonderful!

You know what...I usually think about work and end up doing a little bit but this time I didn't. I'm letting go of the old so that i can welcome in the new ...or in the quote terms "ready to fly the nest!"

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 6

Day 6 Quote - The Journey Matters
It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end.

Day 6 Review

Been wrestling with my mind for peace, happiness, answers to the next step. This whole week has been "the angry week" and have shut myself away from people - for I know how I come across and don't want my brand to be tarnished this way.

I realize that I go through this occasionally and need to recognize it as a journey. The phases as I see them are....

Step 1 - Unease about current state

Step 2 - Anger and resentment

Step 3 - Indifference and letting go

Step 4 - Forming the new passion and goal

I've been in the "anger and resentment" stage longer than I'd like. I wrote a few pages of horrible stuff on paper to help me towards Step 3 of letting go. Definitely not stuff you want to read here, but imagine lots of blame (on everyone and myself) and anger.

I made another step forward in that I cleaned up the folders in my office. I went through them and said "do I need these" "will they take me forward or do they keep me from letting go and moving forward". I ran out of time with the amount I threw out/filed/scanned in....

The journey continues....but I see light coming through...

Daily Quote Source: http://lucymacdonald.typepad.com/

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 5

Day 5 - Courage


It takes as much courage to have tried and failed as it does to have tried and succeeded




Day 5 Review
I read this and for my journey it means - take a risk today. So I attended a new type of networking opportunity. Drove all the way to the city, paid the "how much!?!" parking fee and had a great time.
It was basically an investment pitch from a fund manager....but it amazed for for 2 reasons:
1. I want to be rich enough to invest in funds like these (min invest $100k)
2. I don't want to be in investments as a career

They were both big moments for me because I've been feeling "comfortable" lately in my lifestyle. I earn well and have a good life - should I really push for more....YES! I got a bit of that fire in my belly to push forward.
The second factor was I always felt enticed by the investments industry - Wall street, money makers - and considered it as a career out of school. I appreciated what the manager does, but at the same time it was a big "sales" job and the numbers didn't speak for themselves because he twisted them and talked about them so much. And I saw that this was what the biz was about and my passion is not there anymore.

Courage...yep
I have tried and moved forward...and hence because I tried, I succeeded!

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 4

Day 4 - Small Opportunities

Jumping at several small opportunities may get us there more quickly than waiting for one big one to come along.

Day 4 Review

oohh, this is an ominous one indeed. I'm currently reflecting and assessing my next step and I asked myself this question. Do I take the position now that meets most of the criteria or do I wait for the total package that could materialize at some point in the future...

As I stated on Day 1, things can take a while sometimes when the brain doesn't want to let go, but at some point when you hit that brick wall, and read a quote like this, it makes more sense. I also had a great chat from an unsuspecting coach..showed me reaching out does make work, just have to find the right person.

Thank you quote number 4 - I think I will be more positive when I'm clear on that next step and take it!

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 3

Day 2 Quote - Focus on Now

Forget mistakes. Forget failure. Forget everything except what you are going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day.

Day 2 Review

Definitely sounded cheesy when I ready this, especially the "today is your lucky day". But then again, I'm here to try something different to become more positive....so let's go with it.

I ended up spending most of the day locked away int he office catching up on all those pesky to-do items that rack up. Send email A, order item B, set up meeting C ...you get the picture. If I read the quote, I think I feel quite happy as I forgot the failure of not getting to these items earlier and instead "just did it" and got them done. Plus I like to tick things off a list and I got ALOT of items ticked off today. Yeah!

I also reviewed my action items from a month ago as part of the clear up and set up for the next month and was happy that I set my self personal goals - like writing this blog, networking outside of my comfort zone more, which I definitely have been.

So overall, a tiring day but also a great day...perhaps I'm lucky after all...

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 2

Quotes Source
Found another blog that has a Quote a Day for Positive Outlooks, so I will be using this as the source for the day. All credit goes here: http://lucymacdonald.typepad.com/

Day 2 - Be an appreciator
Be an appreciator of the seemingly small things in life; a smile, a kind word, a beautiful flower, a few hours of unstructured time, a laughing child, for it is the small things that become the warp and weft of the fabric of your life.

Day 2 Review
I have to say that the day was a mixed bag. I thought about being positive and appreciative more during the day...and I used the quote for the "little things" and thanked more people for these little things - meetings, breakfast, just being them, keeping me informed on info....so I give myself a pat on the back.
On the flip side, yesterday was a tough day to start as I had several networking meetings about my next role in the company, which is not new, but for some reason this cycle is taking a lot more out of me than before. These meetings made me feel a range of emotions from pride, ego, entitlement, grateful, excited, dejected, failure, hopeless, and angry. Tired just thinking about it! Ended up having dinner with the hubby and let it all out - for that and him I am ever appreciative.

30 Days to a Positive Outlook...Day 1

I'm back after the break from the extravagant birthday celebration. What an experience...and I needed to recover. All credit goes to the hubby for preparing and putting it all together. He's a rock star!

I've been reflecting on how I've been feeling for the past few months...I've been in a funk and have been deflecting these towards turning 30. But it's been and gone, and it's time to face up to myself and realize it something more.

I've had a lot of questions about the next steps in life - what career, family, the next move, defining success etc... you know, just the little questions.

Now usually, I focus and mull over these for a while and then it spurns me into getting answers and hence clarity.

But in this case, that's not happened...and the impact of this has had an impact on my outward reflection. I'm ready to say it, I'm no longer the positive "glass is half full" mentality. I see myself as more cynical, jaded, and angry in conversations and interactions I've had lately.

And I've realized I don't want to become this person...I see it too often around me and it's what I've been trying to not become for so long, that in fact I did become it. Ashamed, but also ready to do something about it.

So practice the master makes and hence your help in my journey....

Setting a 30 Day Positivity journey...everyday I will reflect on being more positive and hence give myself back what I loved about myself the most....the positive outlook on life.

After the celebrations....recovery

After the Birthday celebrations...I'm taking a break and recovering!

30 Days to Turning 30...It's here! I'm 30!

Waking up felt different...I was older...but I love my birthday as my husband is an expert at making me feel special. I let him know that I wanted it to be memorable....and it really was.

The actual day I was working...yes as you get older this happens. But I got a lot of emails, and hallway happy birthday wishes. My team also surprised me and got me a card, a present, AND a cake! They are great and it made me smile! Only 1 of them is over 30 and that's the boss, so they still liked to tease me a bit about the new decade I've entered...

My husband surprised me with an envelope "#1 of 3" and the adventure began....we went to Las Vegas for a few days (hence the catch up on the blog) and it was not to gamble but instead for a gastronomic adventure overload!

We stayed in a penthouse suite (loved it!) and then ate at 3 tiers of restaurants...

1. Emerils' Fish House - classic tv chef, all show and no food to back it up

2. Tom Colicchio's Craftsteak - the home of a $240 Kobe steak - Wow! I can't eat a normal steak again...

3. Joel Robuchon - 3 Michelin star adventure - 16 courses of food that tells a story that you will never forget - as well as the price tag you will never forget - but so worth it for an experience in a lifetime.

We also packed in a great time relaxing, sitting by the pool, drinking, talking, shopping, and gambling....which amounted altogether as the best adventure to turning 30 ever!

Maybe Turning 30 won't be so bad after all....

30 Days to Turning 30...1 Day to Go

It's now at the nail biting edge of the Big Birthday!

I'm terrible about waiting for special events like birthdays and Christmas and so i managed to convince the hubby to let me open a present early...those from friends in different countries where in that time zone it was already my birthday. Cheeky, I know, but fun to spread the adventure out over time. It was fun to open card s and presents and usually the thrill is more in the anticipation that the actual gift...

Anyways, then spent the rest of the day at work where I was in a Time Management course from 8-5...a full day! Was a great course, but required my full focus and by the end of the day I am just exhausted, so went to bed at 7pm...looking forward to the Big Birthday tomorrow!

Turning 30 tomorrow...but getting older means I need more time for beauty sleep!

30 Days to Turning 30...2 Days to Go

It's getting close with only 2 days to go...I had a BBQ this evening and had 15 people round! Wow, this is the most people I've ever hosted for at my house. It was both exhilarating and exhausting. It was a weekday night as well....way to push the boat out at Age 30!

My husband is an awesome cook, so he led the charge and I was the prep-queen to make sure everything got ready....and it turned out great. We had a lot of hungry people that came back for many sittings...which is a great sign.

For me, it was a new experience to put myself out there and be vulnerable in the hosting arena. It's not something I do very often (less than 5 times in past 15 years) so it was a big thing...but that's the point of turning 30 - take a risk!

It was also exiting as it kind of felt like a birthday party, which I never really had growing up, so new experiences all round to turning 30.

In case you are interested in the fabulous food that was served up....

• BBQ ribs (husband's own secret recipe....like grandma but better!)
• Coleslaw from Mustard's Grill Recipe (hands down THE best coleslaw)
• Shrimp Tacos with Red Cabbage and Chipotle Mayo (Bobby Flay's recipe)
• Jalapeno Cornbread topped with plenty of honey and butter
• Salad, California style

Off to bed now though as exhausted!

30 Days to Turning 30...3 days to go

Yeah...it's a bit of a catch-up to get the last few days in the blog....but life has been a crazy adventure the past week!

With the final few days to the Big Birthday, I was leading a training week for my team, which means I was out-of-pocket for anything else all week physically and emotionally.

One part of the week I was excited about was Emotional Intelligence. I was exposed to the concept at work a few years ago and was also reading a book by Daniel Goleman (The renowned EQ expert) and wanted to teach the new generation at work about the importance of this aspect in balance with the more conventional IQ.

Quite interesting the facts that are proposed...that success is based on 3 areas of excellence:

1. Intelligence (IQ) - the theory of how something is done

2. Expertise - building up experience and the practical actions of decisions

3. Emotional Intelligence (EQ) or "Soft Skills" - how you actually act on your thoughts and decisions and the interaction with others

A range of studies have been done to determine what is most important to "success" in life and interestingly only a small amount (~4-25% from various studies) is based on IQ. The majority (~67% for professional workers) is from EQ. Quite interesting...

Reading through the various dimensions and classifications of EQ reads like a list of common sense aspects. but reading the stories shows that we all might not be a great at these things as we think...and that age is a factor as you "mature"

So getting older is better...I might become a little more emotionally intelligent..sweet!

30 Days to Turning 30...4 to go

I thought the weekend would be uneventful and full of the list of bits 'n' bobs around the house....but it ended up being an adventure...of the unwelcome kind.

I had a set of allergies come up a few years ago to a lot of stuff...basically fruit and nuts. But over the past year, this seems to have died down and I've introduced foods over time and in small pieces so that not really allergic to it anymore.

Well I decided to have a nice desert of blackberries with sugar on the weekend and within minutes of finishing it, my throat tightened up. I didn't think about it until it got worse....and it was hard to swallow. At this point I went into action mode...get the anti-histamines, drink several glasses of water, and stand-by with the epi-pen. Poor husband was sitting and watching me like a hawk to see what to do.

After 1-2 hours of panic and drinking lots of water, my throat started to loosen just a tad and I fell asleep from the pills....again husband watched me like a hawk.

Woke up a few times (to pee from all that water!) but got through it. The next day was a write-off due to the grogginess from the day before....body had fought too hard the day before and I ended up fighting to just walk around.

But in the adventures of turning 30...sometimes it's just a reminder to be thankful that I will be turning 30!

30 Days to Turning 30...5 to go

Today I participated in Junior Achievement and went to teach at a local school. This was the first time I have ever done this event and definitely had different expectations of what it was. I actually became a teacher for the day with detailed lesson plans that last a whole day with many moving pieces and parts to it.

I am not a teacher and know the job is valuable and under-valued in society, but this event was just a heavy reminder of this for me. I had 3rd grade and it was exhausting. The students were normal Age 8 kids with a lot of energy and a range of aptitudes in the class that makes it hard to teach in a uniform style. Welcome to the real world!

I thought this played in nicely to the 20 year old story from my youth of yesterday! The life of a nearly 30 year old continues....at least I still know I don't want to be a teacher!

30 Days to Turning 30...6 to go

So I was talking with some people today and telling a story from when was a kid....and I said "yeah that was like 10 years ago"

And the other person went "don't you mean 20 years ago"

And I of course immediately rebutted and then paused and went "Oh s**t, it was 20 years ago"

The fact that I have stories from 20 years ago was amazing and also hit me like a brick. A stark realization that I am indeed turning 30. And I have stories that are 20 years old!

30 Days to Turning 30...7 to go

I think I am in shock today....I had an effective meeting that lasted 6 minutes! Yep, 6 minutes instead of the scheduled 30 minutes!
We all knew why we were there, got to the point understood what we wanted and needed, and set dates to do it....done! Wow! Still in shock....as this rarely happens!

I finished the day by going to a bar and talking with colleagues...I made myself talk life and not work...a hard thing for me...but in the end I want to get to know people and not the work they do, so was more rewarding.

30 Day to Turning 30...8 to go

Today I attended a Griot speaker series with Kenneth Coleman as the guest speaker. I found the concept of a "griot" really interesting...the person in the family that is the storyteller in African communities.

Link to Kenneth Coleman: http://fisher.osu.edu/about/office-of-the-dean/dac/coleman

Kenneth then went on to talk about life, business, and leadership using stories which left me feeling much more engaged and a higher appreciation for how people learn. I know a few people that use this concept and will be making a bigger effort to do this myself in future.

A big takeaway for me was self-validation (which I've been focusing on for a while, see an earlier post). One of the most important things Kenneth shared was the power of networking. He mentioned things to make sure you reach out to connect and not just to get. Giving out without expecting to receive is important. This is a hard concept for me with my upbringing, but when he went into the story and examples I found that I am good at this....and hence validated myself that I am a good person and provide value to other people.

So a nice thing to think about as I turn 30...that I provide value to other people.

30 Days to Turning 30...9 to go

Is it uh-oh or hooray with going to single digits to the big birthday!
I'm going with hooray...and leave it at that!

30 Days to Turning 30...10 to go

The life of the "achiever"....I have to get things done and marked off the list to feel like the day was worthwhile. The problem is, after a nice long weekend break, there tends to be a lot on the list from what was not done over the weekend as well as a shortened week.

So starting nice and stressed out already... Then I go to start the car and " ". That's right, nothing. The battery was dead. Karma or bad luck you can decide. I only had the car fixed the week before after a tyre blowout and now a new adventure.

So I spent 1/2 the day getting it fixed at a garage before I even got to work...add the layer on that stress cake.

At some point, I turned to myself and said....you're turning 30...get over the stress already...so that's why I'm writing this and going home.

30 Days to Turning 30...11 to go

So I'm turning 30 soon and have been trying to live life to the fullest for the past few months. I went to New Zealand in December on an action adventure tour and pushed myself to the physical limits....was fantastic!

I recently got passed this article (headline above) about a student that did the same activity I did on Christmas Day, river surfing. It was indeed the most extreme event I've ever done and my husband, DrN went under in exactly the same place as Emily did. He was under for 20 seconds and had to be rescued to come up from under the water. He managed to get through the rest of the river surfing trip but was as white as a sheet and was spewing up water for the rest of the trip.

Reading this makes me both really thankful that he survived as well as stupid that I had all this false bravado and sense of safety. "That's what the life preservers are for" and "they wouldn't take us on this if it was really that bad".

Well, sometimes things are dangerous, and you have to assess the risks you take, and not assume that because others do it, so should you.

Today I am simply thankful that I have the opportunity to turn 30...

My love and sympathy goes out to Emily's family and friends.

Full Article: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-562818/The-pictures-beautiful-British-student-killed-bodyboarding-New-Zealand.html

30 Days to Turning 30...12 to go

So this might sound crazy to some of you, but to others it is completely sane. I need to have a plan to turn $1m into $100m. There, it's out! I read that San Francisco magazine article in full and it was crazy, there are more millionaires in the area than many other places in the world, so having $1m net worth is no longer a lot. Houses in the $5m range have higher demand now...in this "housing bubble" period...and more details on how the rich are spending their money.

Read the Article yourself (but be ready to weep): http://www.sanfranmag.com/story/seven-year-rich

It also made me realize something...I reached many of my life goals a few years ago and have been searching for new aspirational life goals since then. And just stating "I'm going to have $100m" is not really cutting it...by when...how...etc.. It does not have to have all the details but it does have to have something more so that I can visualize it and dream about it.

Reading the magazine gave me some possibilities into becoming the $100m-aire from the $1m-aire....Silicon Valley is the land of start-ups, bio-tech, web 2.0, VC's, entrepreneurs....a lot going for it. So I have some thoughts to help me think about my next life goals around these areas....but nothing set, just areas to explore...I promise to share more when I have clarity...promise.

So turning 30 could be the turning point for me to find "the new dream" ...definitely something to look forward to.

30 Days to Turning 30...13 to go

Weekend has arrived again and I like to catch up and read magazines....but definitely not good for the nearly 30 year old person.
First one is an adventure travel magazine that has 8 explorers going to the Arctic....all under the age of 30. They announced all their great adventures and awards at their various ages from 18 - 28. Not so great for my ego...
Then the next magazine is a urban San Francisco magazine and on the front cover it has a 28 year old man who is a high school drop-out that has sold 2 start up companies and is worth over $100 million. Lovely...
So how do I convince myself that I am the best I can be, extraordinary even, when I'm reminded so often about the achievements of the other people that have more at a younger age....hard for me in my early mid-life crisis...with only 14 days to go to turning 30.

Not sure what else to say today....these magazines kind of brought me down...
And then my cat has officially turned into a mouse killer...bringing 3 dead mice to the house in 3 days...all because his collar broke off, but I got a new one today, so no more dead mice, they're free! At least that's something to be happier about.

30 Days to Turning 30...14 to go

I went to an interesting event last night, it was based on a personality assessment called the "enneagram" system. I only got a very short introduction and got the sense that there is a long history on this. But it was quite interesting to learn that human beings can be distilled into similar personalities or motivations and in this case, 9 of them.
I "typed" myself fairly quickly as well as seeing this in other people I know and work with. However, I could not type my husband at all. Is he a 5 or a 3? A 6 with a 9 heart string?
I left feeling sad that I don't know the man I love the most in the world.....but then again it's just a personality classification....and I know my husband in real life.

I guess that turning 30 means I know more about myself than I used to, as well as trusting that I know my husband in my heart and don't need a classification on him.
Happy Friday...

30 Days to Turning 30...15 to go

So today has been a day of innovation! The place I work has been doing Idea Jams where you get together with a few other people and work on an idea all day, present it in 2 minutes, and get a chance to make it a reality! Pretty cool, especially for someone like me that doesn't directly work with customers or products!
So I turned up today and just said "anyone need a team member" and I went through a "match.com" service and found a team! Wa-la! Knew nothing about the other people or the idea, but had a great time just jamming and brainstorming. The team chose me to present, so was a cool opportunity to speak really fast in 2 minutes!
At the end of the day now, watching the innovation from others....really cool what people can do in a day....and what a great way for a company to encourage innovation.

So to turning 30...going back to an old theme...you can still teach an old girl new tricks!

30 Days to Turning 30...16 to go

It's time to grow some balls! Not in the "be a b**ch" approach, not in the "bull in a china shop" approach.....but no more "bending over backwards" to solve for all, no more "let's try your approach over mine". I'm good, I get stuff done, and I get it done well. I have lots of tools and tricks that are effective and high performing. So you know what...I'm growing balls. As you can tell it's been a bad day and I've been railroaded....aaarrrgh!

Growing old does not always mean growing wiser...but you do tend to get hair in new places (ears, nose,...), so I'll leave as I started, as I grow old and turn 30 - I'm going to grow some big fat hairy balls!

30 Days to Turning 30...17 to go

Most people have a life motto...I've been using this one for the past few years and talks about my mood today...

"Life is like a roller coaster...enjoy the ride."

It means that I am an emotional person and I have big highs and bottom lows. Today I woke up and was not feeling excited and energetic, so to work hard at it to make it happen. I turn up the music in the car and listen to 'da beats. Had to definitely crank it up an extra notch today...but did find that at the end of the day things were happening and I'd hit the groove.

So how does this tie onto turning 30? I've definitely noticed that it takes longer to get into the groove as I get older....will it change at age 30?

Oh, I also watched a cute movie called "PS: I Love You" and it had the actress turning 30 in the movie (Hilary Swank). Made me think there could be some life in the old girl yet!

30 Days to Turning 30...18 to go

hmm, today I woke up and was feeling sick. So not much to report except I've been sitting around and drinking fluids to help me feel better. Gotta keep up my energy ready for the Big 3-0 day!

30 Days to Turning 30...19 to go

Fighting those urges of turning 30 and wanting to park my bum on the sofa and not go anywhere....however as the weather was so nice, I wanted to park my bum outside in the garden. Problem...no furniture in the garden.

A few weeks ago, the garden project began...simple project, lay concrete, stamp it and color it with a pattern. That was 3 weeks ago on a 1 week project, let's just say the contractor chosen wasn't the best decision on alot of fronts! That indeed was a life lesson...but not one I'm really wanting to share at this moment...it's that line of "you'll laugh about it one day"...just not today.

Anyways, I wanted to park my bum but needed the furniture to do so...at the age of 30 I've realized you have to decorate with a "theme" and can't just buy bits and pieces otherwise you get a mish-mosh of stuff (see other rooms on home!). So the adventure begins....5 hours to go to get a theme, research, visit garden stores, and purchase...in order to get my bum on a seat in time for dinner!

Well, I did it and dragged Dr N on the adventure. We even had some fun in the process and caught some sunshine! So hooray for turning 30 and still having adventures! (oh, and dinner was lovely watching the sunset with some mahi-mahi tacos and a cool beer!)

30 Days to Turning 30...20 to go

oooh it's getting close...only 20 days to go. I think I'm still nervous, will it feel differently when I wake up or will it be just another day? Plus Dr N is giving me little clues as to the birthday adventures...that I have to take the day off or it will be memorable. Writing it here is just adding to the pressure for him...he can take it!

It's the weekend today, so a nice lazy day chilling out and watching tv.

I'm a member of Blockbuster video and have all those dvd's that come to the home...currently watching all the "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" series. It's focused on sexually devious crimes and when you watch too many in a row you get a little twisted. I had funny dreams last night with them all....but still woke up and watched more!

Lesson of the day to turning 30....don't watch too many episodes in a row of Law & Order!

30 Days to Turning 30...21 to go

Nothing like a visit to the hair salon to unwind....they truly are like a therapist and hear the updates every 8-10 weeks....what will happen, what about that, what you planning for the Big 3-0?!

It turns out that both my colorist and stylist turned 30 this year so had their words of wisdom...."I stressed about it for months before and afterwards, but now I'm over it" (Feb was the Big 3-0 month)....and "I'm the baby of the group, so no difference for me".

At the same time the trip to the stylist is a let down. You go and feel like a princess...all beautiful and made up and then when you leave the salon, you want to be treated like this and celebrate the "good hair day" while it lasts. Unfortunately the husband has not yet learnt this concept, even after 14 years, so looks like I'll go home to a sofa and sweats. Not very princess-like.

But at least at being nearly 30 I can enjoy the hair salon and not worry too much about the price tag!